A Little Perspective (15 April)

Having taught in South Africa for several years, I’m used to student discipline being one of the biggest parts of my job.  My school in Korea has been rather easy in this regard…which is why we were all shocked to the core at the scandal that occurred at school last night.  I barely make it into the school this morning before one of my co-teachers, who is clearly bursting at the seams to share the news, pulls me aside and fills me in on shocking news.  Your school may have had problems but could it possibly be any worse than this…

Scandal Abounds

Bearing in mind that this is one of the most elite schools in my province, behaviour is seldom a problem.  Last night’s events, however, were so shocking that it was necessary for the parents of the students concerned to be summoned to school immediately and the homeroom teacher was required to fill out a detailed incident report.  From cities nearly three hours away, distraught parents rushed to school, late at night, demonstrating the severity of this incident and the students concerned with dealt with rather strictly.  Communications continued until close to midnight and it was agreed that a disciplinary hearing will be held to determine the most appropriate form of discipline for the two disgraced students.  Disappointment was evident in the faces of all and teary promises that this would never happen again.  

Such a terrible crime must surely involve underage drinking, smoking, drugs or some other illegal activity.  It’s far, far worse than anything you could possibly imagine and the students were stupid enough to be caught doing taking part in this illicit activity outside the store across the road from the school (in front of my apartment building!) – in full school uniform!

What, exactly, was their crime?

They were caught kissing!

The vice-principal apparently saw the students kiss, told them to stop and they ignored him then tried to run away.  Naturally, like any scored educator, he chased them and caught the boy – one of my best and sweetest students.

My colleagues are shocked but I can’t stop at the ludicrous hardline approach the school has taken.  One of my colleagues commented that “these students have had a relationship – they were smooching.  What if they now have a baby!”  I tried to reason with my colleagues by pointing out that teachers back home have caught students doing far worse than kissing but they were not amused.  I hope that next time the students have enough common sense to at least go behind the building to kiss.

Understanding a New Perspective

The reaction of my Korean colleagues is somewhat understandable:  Public Displays of Affection are frowned upon in Korea; kissing is something intimate and should be reserved for the bedroom or, at the very least, the privacy of your own home.   Even holding hands is frowned upon by some older Koreans.  

Statistically, most Koreans live at home until they get married.  Unlike Western countries where a 30 year old man living at home with his parents would most likely be labelled a ‘loser’, in Korea, this is quite common for both sexes.  A lot of Koreans will try to convince you that high school students are not having sex and I’ve had many older Koreans try to convince me that pre-marital sex just does not happen in Korea.  Of course, this is contradicted by the sheer number of Love Motels that exist in every city – particularly in university areas – and exist for the sole purpose of renting rooms by the hour.  Since so many young Koreans live with their parents until marriage, getting down to the dirty deed in the comfort of one’s own home is not exactly possible – enter a lucrative business opportunity that caters to this natural human need.  Love Motels are pretty decent accommodation, however, and can be great places to stay overnight for a reasonable price.  

I should probably also add, as so many other bloggers before me have commented at length, that Koreans do not ‘date’ – they have relationships.  My colleague’s comment of the possibility of these students having a baby since they’ve ‘smooched’ is a direct reflection of the conservatism that is so evident at times in Korea.  Since kissing is reserved for the bedroom, along with other things, this reflects her train of thought: the students kissed, therefore they’re in a committed relationship, and (despite their denial of teenagers having sex) are probably doing other relationship matters too.   

As a homeroom teacher, my colleague is like a substitute parent for this boy (who is in 11^th grade in high school) and therefore feels that she has failed.  Since the students spend more time at school than they do at home, she is responsible for his moral guidance and ensuring that he (and other students in her class) toe the line.  From a Korean perspective, his behaviour is a direct reflection of her failure to provide this guidance – something that the vice-principal did not hesitate to tell her.  She was hauled over the coals and told to increase her vigilance of her students.  If the students had been caught having sex, she would probably have been fired, charged with negligence and never allowed to teach again.

This preservation of innocence is simultaneously frustrating and endearing. It’s endearing to meet adult Koreans who are still pure and Korean men generally have a reputation for being very sweet and considerate of their partners – they make sure their girlfriend is never bored, will go out of their way to make sure that you’re always entertained, are true gentlemen, even insist on carrying your handbag and will generally bend over backwards to make you happy.  I’m not saying that this is necessarily ideal but it is certainly different from the Western approach.  

A Foreing View

The frustrating downside, however, is that many grown men in Korea can still seem rather childlike at times.  I can’t help but look at my students and wonder how on earth they would function if they ever live or work outside of Korea.  While the sweet, gentle and innocent approach may be universal in Korea, such behaviour outside of Korea would, perhaps, be laughed at.  My high school students don’t really know how to talk to members of the opposite sex and this is something that seems to continue into adulthood for many.  Granted, the reasons for this apparent shyness may have more to do with Confucianism than anything else, but it can be frustrating for many foreigners.   Girls seem to be programmed to be cute in Korean culture and are viewed as fragile and emotional but many Korean men – which explains why some of the male teachers at my school treat me the way they do.  

Of course, this is not to say that all Korean men are like this or even that all Korean women are meek and mild.  I’m also not saying that it’s necessarily a bad thing – just different and the cause of many interesting (and frustrating) misunderstandings when Koreans and foreigners engage with one another.

The scandal at my school is true eye opener.  However, after having dealt with teenagers swearing at me and students assaulting teachers at my previous school, I’m truly grateful that something so minor in my own culture is the extent of the ‘serious discipline problems’ at my school here in Korea.  

Life is Like a Comic Book ( 7 April)

With the recent earthquake and tsunami in Japan, the threat of radiation poisoning and contamination is ever present in our lives in Korea.  I have been told by numerous people (teachers, friends and students) to make sure that I do “not get rained on” and their advice if I should be so unlucky as to be rained on is to “take a shower as soon as [I] get wet”.  The logic in these warnings is that the radiation, leaking from Japan’s towers that were hit by the tsunami, is being carried across the Eastern Sea and headed straight for Korea.  Similarly, the contaminated water that was used to cool these towers and later pumped back into the Sea is making a beeline for Korea’s coasts – specifically Incheon and the Han River which runs through Seoul.  Consequently, Koreans are rather cautious at the moment and many friends are limiting the amount of time they currently spend outdoors “just in case”.

Catfish described life in Korea as something from a comic book: Radioactive Rains will give us superpowers; Our enemy is to the North andYellow Dust from the Gobi Desert is blowing in from the East.  It seems that only the South is currently safe – except for that pesky radioactive water heading from Japan’s East Coast to Korea’s West Coast….

Treasure Island and Horror Films

Astro joins us on our second full day on the island and M leaves early in the morning to go and meet him at the bus station.  We then pack and head to a different minbak located in the countryside where Astro shows just how much of a city boy he is.  The main house of our minbak, however, appears to be very traditional and is beautifully built.

Treasure Island

Since our room isn’t yet ready, we leave our bags and head back to the beach for another day of just lazing about.  Astro, being a sun-worshipper, is happy to tan on his towel on the sand while M and I laze about on the loungers again.   Incredibly, six hours whips by all too soon and before we know it, the sun is preparing to set.  M tells us about a place called Treasure Island and we head there to watch a spectacular sunset.  While waiting for the sun to set, Astro plays up to the camera and does mock fitness videos using the benches on the observation deck. 

Near the observation deck is a restaurant built as a ship.  Apparently the owner of this particular spent millions of US dollars to build this restaurant and we decide to see what all the fuss is about.  Unfortunately, it’s a sushi restaurant and we’re not too keen on the menu so we head out in search of somewhere else to eat dinner.  As we drive back towards our minbak, we pass a family style restaurant that looks appealing.  The galbitang there is delicious and Astro insists that we’ll be back there the following day for dinner, at which the owners simply laugh. 

Horror Films

Back in the car, Astro lives up to his nickname of snail and I tell M that we should pretend to leave him behind.  This clearly becomes an entertaining game for us all as we continue to drive just fast enough to make Astro chase the car up the hill.  He then asks us to make a horror movie of him running in front of the car.  I film the scene as we chase him up the darkened hilly roads with him screaming over his shoulder.  At the sight of another car, we decide that we’re probably going to be reported to the local police and we finally allow Astro to get back into the car.

Back at the minbak, it’s still early and Astro and I have have a good chat outside on the lawn overlooking the countryside.  We’ve never really spoken much prior to this and it’s great to get to know him a bit better as we talk about jobs, aspirations and travel plans before turning in for the night.

April Fool’s Giddy Girl (1 April)

Incredibly, I’ve forgotten that today is April Fool’s Day.  I had planned the most perfect prank for my students but it required the involvement of my co-teachers and this is where I’ve fallen flat – I forgot to speak to them and fill them in on the prank!  Since my school seems to have only just accepted that I’m actually planning to stay for at least the duration of my current contract, I was going to tell my students that I’ve decided to go back to SA and see what the reaction was.  Apparently this would be a bit mean so maybe it’s a good thing that it didn’t pan out as I’d hoped.  My poor planning didn’t prevent my students from pranking me however.

After my first lesson of the day, I must have decided that April Fool’s Day isn’t really acknowledged in Korea.  I was a little disappointed that my first (and favourite) class hadn’t done some type of prank so I am a bit surprised when Mr Jeong tells me to watch out for student pranks just before I enter my second lesson of the day.  As I walk into the classroom, I see them scurrying to get into position for their prank.  My students have turned their jerseys and ties around and are facing the back of the class.  It’s a well-organised prank and I appreciate the trouble they’ve gone to in organising things so I decide to play along for a few minutes. 

No Ms Kim, It's Not Radiation Poisoning...

My co-teacher arrives about 5 minutes into the lesson and doesn’t seem to appreciate the humour.  With that, the prank is over and students return to their normal positions and bored expressions.  In the scramble for books, I notice one of the boys looks like he’s about the throw up – and he does, right next to my co-teacher who looks horrified and scared.  A couple of the students look concerned to see that he’s thrown up blood, I’m a little confused as to what’s going on and my co-teacher quickly shuffles him out of the room while asking if he’s okay.  My attempts to begin the lesson are in vain as everyone’s attention is focused on the student and teacher outside.  Suddenly, the student jumps up shouting some form of surprise word, which my co-teacher seemed thrilled to hear.  She’s visibly relieved to discover the blood is nothing more than a fake blood capsule and an well-timed April Fool’s joke rather than some serious health condition or reaction to the feared radiation poisoning that heading straight to Korea from Japan. 

The students seem to have planned fairly elaborate pranks for several teachers throughout the day and this is a topic of much discussion among the teachers during lunch.  I’m surprised to discover that today is also my fantastic co-teacher’s birthday.  I find it rather ironic that today is her birthday since I’ve been meaning to ask her for several weeks when her birthday is.  I’m happy, however, that the English teachers – who are all sitting together at lunch today – are actually speaking English and including me in the general conversation. 

Mistranslations and Interesting Conversations 

I leave school early for an acupuncture appointment.  My back is really sore but I’m also, undeniably, looking forward to seeing cute doctor again since it’s been a while.  The co-ordinator seems happy to see me and tells me that it’s been a while since she last saw me.  Cute doctor seems just as happy to see me.  He greets me with, “Long time no see” and comments, in Korean, that it’s good to see me.  I get cheeky for a moment and ask if he’s happy to see me even though it means he has to speak English but, as usual, I speak too fast.  All he says is, “too fast” so I repeat myself at a slower pace, which still doesn’t seem to be successful.  The co-ordinator translates what I’ve said as, “even though you can’t speak English” which seems to prompt cute doctor into proving me wrong. 

He tells me that he saw me about a month prior to this outside Angel-in-us coffee shop, meeting a friend.  He specifies that it was a female friend because he knows I’m single – I’m assuming it was Catfish he saw me with – and that he was very happy to see me then.  I’m disappointed that he saw me but didn’t say hello and I tell him this. His response: “I’m shy boy” which prompts me to sing the Korean pop song ‘Shy boy’, which just happens to be playing on the radio at that moment.  I seem to embarrass him too much because he scurries away for something.  While he’s gone, the co-ordinator tells me that Koreans are shy to speak to foreigners when they see them unexpectedly even when they know the people – it has to do with a lack of confidence in speaking English.  Nevertheless, I make cute doctor promise to say hello to me the next time he sees me somewhere other than the medical centre. 

The co-ordinator keeps disappearing during the consultation and cute doctor seems to be out to prove that he can hold a conversation in English.  He also seems to be trying to say something else but is uncertain of how to proceed.  I’m confused by his comments of “hav[ing] an idea that [I] might not like” and “want[ing] to talk to me lots” despite his bad English.  I’m a little too enthusiastic when I hear this and respond in a manner not too dissimilar to that of a golden retriever pup.  He tries really hard to communicate with me in English and I’m impressed that he’s managed to keep it up for nearly two hours.  He even goes so far as to show me an anatomy book, in English, to try and explain what he thinks is wrong with me. 

Towards the end of the appointment, his confidence seems to have grown and he tells me that he wishes he could speak better English so that he could show me how funny he really is.  He says that he’s actually a very funny person, and has a good sense of humour, but this doesn’t translate well due to his bad English.  I’m touched that he seems so concerned about the impression he makes and assure him that I do find him funny. 

Out of the blue, he asks if I have any Korean friends and seems somewhat taken aback when I confirm that I actually do although most of them live in Seoul.  His next question is how I know people who live in Seoul followed by whether or not my Korean friends speak English (yes again) which seems to intimidate him – especially when I try to make him feel more comfortable by telling him that most of them are English teachers or deal with foreigners regularly; unfortunately, this seems to backfire rather than work as I’d hoped.  Despite this, he continues to talk to me and informs me that he is currently doing his compulsory military service; that is how he ended up working at the Gunsan Medical Centre. 

When he asks me how he can improve his English, my brain shouts that this is the perfect opportunity to say, “Let’s hang out” but I don’t and the opportunity quickly passes while I proceed to kick myself repeatedly.  Again, he seems rather concerned about the impression he seems to be making on me and is eager to clarify that he actually had good marks for English when he was at school but that he is now old (32) and English is difficult.  He’s also quick to apologise for causing me pain during the treatment when he asks if I hate him for hurting me before repeatedly telling me that he doesn’t want to hurt me – a common statement from oriental medicine doctors who recognise that acupuncture is rather foreign to many westerners. 

At 5pm, I feel a bit guilty that he’s still working with me although he seems quite content.  I’m relieved to find out that, as of today, the medical centre is open until 6pm so I have nothing to worry about.  After confirming another appointment for the following Friday, I text Catfish and we arrange to meet for dinner at Hoa Binh.  Not having brought my yoga things with me, I have to rush home to change and get my things before heading back to Naun-dong at 8:20pm for yoga. 

Not So Pleasant News

By the time I finally get home for the evening, I’m exhausted.  I switch on my computer to check e-mails before heading to bed and my delirious mood takes a sudden nosedive at the news awaiting me.  My mom has e-mailed to inform me that my cousin’s dog was cruelly murdered and thrown into a dumpster near their house and that my cousin, with whom my parents are currently staying in Cyprus, has been rushed to hospital for an emergency operation to have a rather large ovarian cyst removed.  I feel torn between my elation at today’s conversation with cute doctor and the disturbing news of my cousin and helpless in the knowledge that there’s nothing I can do until at least 4pm tomorrow afternoon thanks to the time difference. 

Meet My Limit Kids! (28 March)

I sleep through four alarms this morning and only wake up at 8:40am which means I am late for school.  I’m tired, I’m grumpy and I don’t want to be at school today.  Despite this, my first lesson actually goes well.  My second class, however, are little monsters whose bad behaviour is worsened by the regular absence of my co-teacher for this class.  I’ve walked out of a lesson back home but this is the first time I’ve walked out of a class in Korea. 

As I stomp out of the class, I feel further frustration as I realise that I can’t exactly march into my co-teacher’s office and ask her to come to class because this will cause her to lose face in front of the vice-principal and the 11 other teachers potentially in her office at this time.  Causing her to lose face will only aggravate the situation; walking straight back into the classroom, however, will only further remove my authority.  My only choice: sit in the stairwell for 5 minutes and let the class (hopefully) stew about where I’ve gone. 

This seems to work to some extent because they’re more co-operative by the time I re-enter the class – even if my co-teacher never did find the venue for this particular lesson.

Don’t Feed the Gremlins (27 March)

The black mold that has invaded my bathroom is like a gremlin that is being fed after midnight and multiplying every time I take a shower.  Considering there is no direct sunlight anywhere in my apartment, let alone in the bathroom, destroying it is requiring nuclear strength cleaning products – pure bleach just doesn’t seem to be cutting it anymore..  Each shower sees the original Gizmo mold shake and shiver in pain before a new patch of mold springs forth and attaches itself to yet another location in the bathroom.  Fortunately, it seems to be contained to just the bathroom.  Unfortunately, I’m starting to feel a little high from the vast quantities of mold remover and bleach I’ve sprayed all over my bathroom…

A Typical Saturday (26 March)

Weekends seem to melt together as my time in Korea passes more and more quickly.  Instead of looking for things to do on the weekends, I now find myself looking for the weekends where I can just stay home and relax. 

Despite promising myself that I would get up by 9:00am, I only wake up at 10:00.  Thus, I have only two hours before I’m due to meet Catfish and one of her former students at CGV for lunch and possibly a movie.  Somehow, I find time to still chat to YeonJeong via Facebook before rushing out to meet my friends.

A quick lunch at the Gal-B, followed by coffee at Café Bene and we’re soon walking the reluctant girls to their Math Academy before heading back to CGV to watch Red Riding Hood.  We again have two hours to kill before the start of the movie so we take in a few games of pocketball.  We’ve both planned a cleaning day in our respective apartments so our evening culminates in the exciting task of shopping for cleaning supplies at Lotte Mart and finding the fantastic BB cream that we’d heard about two weeks ago before heading home and chatting some more on Facebook and Skype.  Just another typical Saturday afternoon.